For this assignment, we were asked to write several different piece of business correspondence. We were asked to include four piece. The first piece was a revision of a “bad” email that we were given to choose from. The second piece was a special request or inquiry letter. The first piece was a complaint letter. The fourth piece was a memo to the professor.
Revising the “bad” email
Subject: HOA ISSUES!!!!! Urgent Matter
To Whom it May Concern:
This is for the HOA Board. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING????? I received a notice that says its my “FIRST AND FINAL” notice to cutback tree limbs in our front yard. What does first and final even mean????? It is rude and makes no sense!!!!! The letter is also rude and I don’t appreciate the tone. We pay a lot of money for HOA dues and I FULLY expect to be treated professionally by the HOA. I will not accept this kind of demanding language and tone in a notice from you. Please revise this letter THEN you can talk to me about cutting back my tree branches.
My revised version:
Subject: Issue with Letter Received
To the HOA Board,
I recently received a letter that said it was the “first and final” notice to cutback the tree limbs in our front yard. While I do pay my HOA dues and agree to the rules set by the HOA, this notice to cutback the tree limbs came as quite a shock. I am confused as to what “first and final” actually means, as I would think that we would be notified about this issue prior to this notice we received.
I was wondering if we could have a chance to discuss how to handle issues such as the tree limbs in the future so that HOA members are well aware of what to do before receiving a “first and final” notice. I would also like to come to an agreement with the tree branches so that the HOA board and I can both be happy.
Thank you for your time and I will be waiting for a response.
Special Request Letter
Special Request Letter
August 4, 2019
Committee of Academic Standing Appeals
[email address redacted]
To the Committee of Academic Standing Appeals,
My name is Ari Lentini and I am a student at [university]. I would like to discuss appealing some grades that I received in my classes during a prior semester. I was advised to write to you by an on-campus counselor and my academic advisor. I feel as though I have some circumstances that would make me eligible to appeal my classes and receive a W for a grade rather than the current grade.
I have been dealing with some very intense mental health related issues while attending [university] that has greatly affected my studies. I have met with both on campus and off campus therapists to better my grades but it was unfortunately too late and I failed some classes. My off-campus therapist also wrote a letter on my behalf explaining my circumstances and how it has caused direct issues with my grades. The result of my grades was not something that I could control at the time and I am asking for those grades to be forgiven so that I can remain in college.
I have received a lot of help from my therapist to ensure that these types of grades do not happen in the future. What I ask of you is to consider my situation carefully and to please provide me with any additional resources to make my request a reality. As I mentioned, I already have a letter from my therapist and I have begun to fill out the SAP forms required for the appeals.
If possible, I would really appreciate hearing back from you within two weeks so that I can have enough time to gather the required paperwork and information for this process. Thank you for your time and any help that you can offer me.
August 4, 2019
Chief Operating Officer for Customer Support
Dear Mr. Williams,
I received my iPhone X through Sprint in January of 2019. It was working perfectly until May of 2019. I paid a $300 deposit for the phone and have been paying $60 every month since I bought it. The software has not been in proper working condition for some time now. I still have my yearlong warranty on the phone, which expires in January of 2020, so I would like some agreement to me made in order to fix the issues I am currently dealing with.
There are several issues when it comes to the software on my iPhone X, where the biggest of the issue is regarding the photographs taken on my phone. There are times where I will take a photo and it automatically deletes itself before I can ever even see it. It does the same for screenshots, too.
The issue with photography has caused me to lose photos of my two-year-old niece that I can never get back. The issue with the ringer has caused me to miss important phone calls simply because the phone did not make a sound when a call was incoming. It has been quite some stress for me.
I would like to schedule an appointment with workers at a nearby Apple store to either fix these issues. If the workers are unable to fix the issues, I would like to suggest replacing the phone with a functional iPhone X. As I mentioned previously, I am still under warranty so I don’t see either solution being too much of an issue.
Thank you for your time. In order to fix this issue as soon as possible, I would appreciate it if you were to respond with a solution to the issue within two weeks. I look forward to speaking with you soon.
Memo to Professor
To: Professor [redacted]
From: Ari Lentini
Date: September 4, 2019
Subject: Correspondence Project
Per the instructions for the assignment, I have written a rundown that describes and explains what I did with this project. I have also included the changes I made to the “bad email” portion of the project.
Bad Email Revisions
The original email showed an excessive amount of frustration in an unprofessional manner. What I mainly wanted to change was the tone so that it had a sense of urgency and frustration without being rude or going overboard. The process I went through when I was revising was that I:
- Changed the subject, as putting “URGENT!!” doesn’t make anything get read faster and is rude.
- Changed the tone of the letter to be less sporadic while still conveying the sense of frustration.
- Stopped the use of excessive capitalization, as seen from the original email.
- Clearly and maturely explained the problem.
- Offered ways to correct the issue and what to do for the future while restating the issue with receiving a “first and final” notice.
- Closed politely.
I feel as though these revisions were clearly explained in the textbook and I tried to follow those guidelines as best as I could. I do acknowledge that I did cut out some of what the original email said, such as “paying a lot of money” and the bits about wanting to be treated “professionally”, as I found those not necessary in a more professional revision of the email.
Inquiry or Special Request Letter
For this portion of the assignment, I took an event that I had to deal with in 2016 and made it into a special request letter. I followed the guide on page 115 of our textbook to write this letter, as I included:
- Who I was and why I was writing in the very first section of the letter.
- My reason for requesting my grades to be changed to withdraws rather than failures.
- What I specifically wanted from the Committee of Academic Appeals.
- What steps I had already taken personally.
- Thanking the committee.
To write this complaint letter, I referenced page 122 – 127 to ensure I had a more effective complaint letter. In the complaint letter, I included:
- What I purchased.
- The time I purchased the device.
- When the issues first started.
- What the issues are.
- How the issues are impacting me.
- Two separate ways to fix the issue.
- Concluding with kindness and implying that action needs to be taken quickly.
I ended up shortening my complaint letter slightly to make it more straight forward and to the point. I had originally included a different issue about my phone that was not the primary reason for the letter but removed it.
Grade on assignment: 90%
- Didn’t include contact info when closing special request letter
- Minor proofreading issues